My Dad Sept 1, 1911-March 6, 2011 - Elmer Byrd

He is gone now and there is such a void when you walk into my mother's house now. You do not realize how much space we occupy, until someone leaves this earth. It is not the same as when someone goes on a trip, or to the store, it is the eternal gone that makes its mark. I was privileged to witness my Dad's passing on into heaven. He really battled between staying with us and going on. When we told him to go, that we were all going to be okay, he left. I could feel his spirit leave. I know he is no longer in pain, seeing family that have passed before him - he leaves one sister behind and all of the daughters, son-in-laws, grandchildren. I am really going to miss him, but I have great joy knowing I will see him again!

It has been a long time

I have not written for a long time and much has happened since then. There has been much learning going on and I hope I am sending up Sparks of Holiness as that is one of the things I have been learning. My husband is fighting cancer, my dad is fighting dementia and just plain old, old age - he is 99. I am dealing with knowing the end on this earth will be coming for me someday. Growing old gracefully is a fantasy that sounded good to someone and they put it out there. Nothing graceful about it. You have many aches and pains, burdens to bear - they were just a lot easier to do when you were younger - yet the trade off is the stuff you thought was so damned important is not really - and you really stop sweating the small stuff. I feel an urgency to get my act cleaned up, living simply, giving away stuff, giving away some important stuff to the kids now and getting wills and what finances we have in order. There is much comfort in that and then you feel like you can coast a bit, and smell a bit more of the roses. I am working on that, I do not want my kids to have to deal with it. I am trying to be healthy, I am a happy and I truly appreciate every moment here and more importantly, I am not afraid of my next adventure in my coming life - I have Faith and Trust In God.

Thanksgiving Thoughts

My favorite holiday is fast approaching. I love this holiday as it is for me, a time of reflection. The changing of the seasons, time with family and friends, reconnection to those who love us, catch-up and feasting together is this season's great gift. This may also be the last Thanksgiving with my step-dad, so I want it to be extra special. My daughter and son-in-law living far away, will be on my mind - they always are, but at this time of year I really miss having them near. My daughter and son-in-law who live near, will be down for the holiday this year together. William will bring his video camera and take some video of Grandpa. That will be very important to us all in the future.

I am extremely grateful for the wonderful family God has surrounded me with. I am thankful I am still employed. I am thankful that I live in the United States of America. She has many things to atone for, but I still love her and am grateful for the opportunites she has provided for me.

I am prayerful for those who do not have the things I do. A warm bed and clothes, family, food or a job. I am prayerful for those who are ill and fighting for their lives. I am prayerful that I will never take for granted all the wonderful things God has provided me with.

I love you my family and my God and my country!

Happy Thanksgiving!

A Prayer for Sarah

DEAR GOD,

I am offering up a prayer for Sarah - you know Sarah, a dedicated servent of yours. She is suffering greatly Lord and she is scared. Not of death really, but of what is going to become of her family if she is not around. Her husband Jim is not doing so well and is falling apart. I pray you give him strength so he can pass that on to Sarah. Her four boys know what is going on. The oldest will understand, but her other sons may not realize what is happening. I know you can fix this for us all here on the earth, and I know we will accept your will, but I still will ask for a miracle. I know they are possible, but I will never try to judge you for I know we see through the glass darkly. I must always remind myself that death is for the living and that we need to learn something from it. But being a selfish being I will still ask you to spare Sarah. She is such an Angel on Earth, do you really need her right now? Can we have a little more time with her here on this earth? We will accept whatever you decide Lord, but we will not stop praying for this miracle for Sarah.

Lord, I want to thank you for healing Gulshun. She has been in our prayers and will now live because you heard us.

Can we have another miracle...for Sarah.

In Jesus name I pray

Your going to miss this

Maybe I am just being over sentimental...I am a bit by nature anyway, but tonight I was watching the CMT awards and heard a song by Trace Adkins, Called "Your Gonna Miss This" and it really touched my heart, because the words were so true. I remember as a young girl, daydreaming about where life would take me, 1, 2 or 3 years from now. I remember trying to imprint in my mind, my children's 1st tooth, step and words and that 1st day of school. How we all want things to get better and how hard it is to live in the moment and appreciate what he have at the time. I think we are suppose to live in the moment, and appreciate what we have no matter how hard things might seem at the time, because you may miss it. Maybe it is because God helps us forget how hard it may have been and let's us reflect on the joy in hindsight, I don't know for sure. I know I miss it though.

A Time For Reflection

Saturday, my sister and I attended the graveside service for our friend Vicki's husband Tom, who went on his journey on Feb 29th. Vicki said he passed on Leap Year as a parting gift to them. So they can have a memorial only every four years. Typical of Tommy's Irish humor. I did not know him well as Vicki's life and mine went in different directions, but we saw each other on special occasions. I most recently saw Vicki and Tom at our friend Steve's daughter Sam's wedding, he was unwell at that time. He became progressively ill in the following months and he knew his time was at hand. He was a wonderful husband, father and steward of the Lord. His oldest son Tommy preceded him in death and they are now finally together again in a very holy place...rest in peace Tom.

Hopes for 2008

Happy New Year everyone! Ours was a quiet one at home and off the streets, although I did try and lure my sister with a game of late night bingo! The pots are always huge, but our weather has been icy at night and we do not get home to my mothers until 2:00am or so. Good call sis, I stayed home and got some things done and so did she.
My hopes for this year is for people to take a moment from their busy lives to stop and take a look at who is governing them. Just register to vote! Have a say in how you feel about things. At least you will have tried to make a change.

I would love to see the way the primary's are set up changed. I hate the fact that four or five states set the conventions - how about holding all primarys on the same day? Will someone tell me what is wrong with that? It just seems so much more democratic!

No More PORK! Let's pass legislation without it. In fact. let's put all lobbyists out of business.
Term Limits, woohoo, I would vote for that one. Let's put the professional polititians out of business!
Green, Green, Green - let us all do our part this year to make a difference in our planet. We are a nation of consumers, if we are going to consume, let us do it responsibly.
I personally am going to try and get up and move around more, everyday! I work a very sendatary job and IT SUCKS the life out of you. I will try and be more like my children, who are very physically minded!
Pray, I will pray more for my family, country and world. It never hurts and hey all you sceptics out there? What it I am right?
Finally, Love, Love, Love, I will try and do more of that and serve and be more tolerant of all people on this earth....required by my Lord and hey, it just makes you a better person and feel really good!!!
So here is a toast to a new and better year for all people on this planet!

I have high hopes for us all!

Merry Christmas Family & Friends!!!

Dex and I want to wish all of our family and friends a very Merry Christmas! It is a true Christian Day of Remembrance of the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Our giving of gifts is in keeping the tradition of when the Magi brought gifts to the Christ child. It is a reminder to us all of the sacrifice Christ paid on the Cross for our sins and a rejoicing of the greatest gift that he gave to all mankind. I rejoice with fellow Christians in celebrating this birth and counting the tremendous blessings HE has given me! St. Nicholas is a representation of the Magi in the giving of gifts and is a delight for Children all over the world. Time to go to sleep now...I thought I heard bells tinkling! Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Update on M

After viewing some horrific video of M's rant and ordeal with the police on the news this morning, I was pleased to learn that they did admit him to the psychiatric unit of the hospital. Dear M, I hope your mind is now at rest and you are getting the help you so truly deserve....my hopes and prayers are for you to get the answers you have been looking for.

Falling Through The Cracks

Today was a very sad day. A dear friend of our family who is homeless (he chooses to live his lifestyle) went over the edge. I first learned of the incident on the morning news, but did not make the connection that it was M. He pulled his van up to a local TV station and lit some flares, when the employee's called the police (swat and state, local authorities) he threatened to ignite the inside of the van with himself in it. They played it on the news as a "Bomb Threat" and of course evacuated the area. He spoke with swat and he must have told them he had been treated at the VA hospital and that is how they found my sister, who used to be his girlfriend. M has had issues of anger over society, politics and law. He chose to opt out. My sister did not want that lifestyle and so they parted company, but he was and is our friend. We love him and want the best for him. We went to the hospital hoping to be able to provide some background info on him as he has no family here and we are his surrogate family. We are praying that he will not fall through the cracks of the justice system and get the help he so desperately needs. He is such a good man that has had a tragic past and has made some bad mistakes. Thank GOD he was not hurt and he didn't hurt anyone else....I am hoping for a happy ending to this story, please join me in thinking the good thoughts for him.

Foureyes and then some

I was so excited to find out they added vision coverage on our health insurance. Because I was going into "Big Town" this weekend I schedule and eye exam. I was way, way overdue. I managed to get it moved up a day and went through the usual procedure including the eye dilation, which is always fun for awhile. To my dismay, I have some issues with my eyes. Too much pressure in the eyes, which could mean glaucoma. He also found some differences in the optic nerves of my eyes. That is really scary. I have been anxiety ridden since he told me and he wants me to see a specialist. I guess I am a Kook as I am looking at everything in every detail, trying to etch it all in my brain, just in case the news is really bad. I would rather lose my hearing any day, then not be able to see the faces of those I love or the trees and ocean or not be able to read a book as I am a voracious reader. We think sometimes to be able to function is our right and it really is a priviledge. Those of you who pray, I would appreciate a word to HIM. The good news is I am going to have a really cool pair of glasses soon... I will keep you posted on the outcome.