My Dad Sept 1, 1911-March 6, 2011 - Elmer Byrd

He is gone now and there is such a void when you walk into my mother's house now. You do not realize how much space we occupy, until someone leaves this earth. It is not the same as when someone goes on a trip, or to the store, it is the eternal gone that makes its mark. I was privileged to witness my Dad's passing on into heaven. He really battled between staying with us and going on. When we told him to go, that we were all going to be okay, he left. I could feel his spirit leave. I know he is no longer in pain, seeing family that have passed before him - he leaves one sister behind and all of the daughters, son-in-laws, grandchildren. I am really going to miss him, but I have great joy knowing I will see him again!

It has been a long time

I have not written for a long time and much has happened since then. There has been much learning going on and I hope I am sending up Sparks of Holiness as that is one of the things I have been learning. My husband is fighting cancer, my dad is fighting dementia and just plain old, old age - he is 99. I am dealing with knowing the end on this earth will be coming for me someday. Growing old gracefully is a fantasy that sounded good to someone and they put it out there. Nothing graceful about it. You have many aches and pains, burdens to bear - they were just a lot easier to do when you were younger - yet the trade off is the stuff you thought was so damned important is not really - and you really stop sweating the small stuff. I feel an urgency to get my act cleaned up, living simply, giving away stuff, giving away some important stuff to the kids now and getting wills and what finances we have in order. There is much comfort in that and then you feel like you can coast a bit, and smell a bit more of the roses. I am working on that, I do not want my kids to have to deal with it. I am trying to be healthy, I am a happy and I truly appreciate every moment here and more importantly, I am not afraid of my next adventure in my coming life - I have Faith and Trust In God.

Things change so quickly

Well this year has been interesting so far. Time is going by faster and faster and in Winter I am always glad - It has been very mild so far and I see this every few years. I still cannot wait until spring arrives though. My birdies will be back and life renews, it is a cycle that never ceases to amaze me. GOD has been good to me and I thank him everyday for my dear family, for keeping them all safe and healthy.
Speaking of health - I have contracted Diabetes. I found it during my annual check-up. So important to have those check-ups. I am lucky and can control it with diet. I am still trying to find my bearings on that. Much of it is managing carbohydrates and portion control, which most Americans need to do. I did find out that if you have family members who have been diabetic that it ups the ante along with certain ethnic groups. Since I am part American Indian along with my English Heritage, I am predisposed. I am not a sweets hound, but I am a carb hound. I have been doing well testing my blood, but I feel like I am always hungry. If I can just get used to that...I will be okay.

A Prayer for Sarah

DEAR GOD,

I am offering up a prayer for Sarah - you know Sarah, a dedicated servent of yours. She is suffering greatly Lord and she is scared. Not of death really, but of what is going to become of her family if she is not around. Her husband Jim is not doing so well and is falling apart. I pray you give him strength so he can pass that on to Sarah. Her four boys know what is going on. The oldest will understand, but her other sons may not realize what is happening. I know you can fix this for us all here on the earth, and I know we will accept your will, but I still will ask for a miracle. I know they are possible, but I will never try to judge you for I know we see through the glass darkly. I must always remind myself that death is for the living and that we need to learn something from it. But being a selfish being I will still ask you to spare Sarah. She is such an Angel on Earth, do you really need her right now? Can we have a little more time with her here on this earth? We will accept whatever you decide Lord, but we will not stop praying for this miracle for Sarah.

Lord, I want to thank you for healing Gulshun. She has been in our prayers and will now live because you heard us.

Can we have another miracle...for Sarah.

In Jesus name I pray

Urgent Care Experience

I got my arm squeezed really hard between my treadmill and the door frame when trying to move it so we could paint. Didn't think much about it and expected it to be sore, but nothing felt broken. Needless to say, six days later it was still hurting like hell and I started wondering if I may have a hairline fracture. So off to Urgent Care in Grants Pass. I have insurance with a 1000 dollar deductable which hasn't been met yet, so I of course was expecting a hugh bill at the end of this visit. I was there for 3 hours which was the worst part. The doc was very thorough and had me view the xrays with him and even pointed out a bone chip from my childhood broken arm incident. He said I had a very swollen tendon and just needed Ibuprofen and an ice pack and give it some rest! Total cost 37.00 dollars! I was impressed, by the way, that included my co-pay of 25.00. So you can guess what the xrays cost and the price of a physician. It was a better experience that with my regular doc. The length of time was the only drawback. Dex and chua took a nap in the truck!

Chua - The Best Medicine

We went to visit with Gpa & Gma this weekend. Of course, Angel went with us. She feels like their home is her second home and is comfortable the minute she gets there! They were both glad to see her and it was good to see them both laughing and playing with her. She is so good for them. Gpa was moving the handle end of his cane across the floor and she was chasing it like a bunny rabbit, hopping up and down and back and forth. We were all laughing so hard at her antics!

I fixed Noodles Alfredo and fresh broccoli and Gpa even had 2nd helpings! It was a great weekend!

Now that Angel sleeps with us at night, I will be sleeping on the sofa at Gma's as there is not enough room in that double bed for the three of us! I keep thinking I am going to roll over on her, so I don't sleep as well at Gma's. It is fine when we are at home in our own Queen Bed!

Mean Virus

I have been sick for one week. There have been two different Virus going around our offices. My sis had the 48 hour intestinal bug and then there is this other bug which is what I caught. Started as a mild sore throat and a bit of ear ache on one side. I figured a regular head cold - no big deal, but the malaise that hit a few days later was amazing. I was in bed for two days! I came to work yesterday and today but still feel crummy. This bug has hit the valley and my co-worker Karen said there were only three children at her well daughter's daycare. Her other daughter is sick and so is Karen.
I no longer have fever and have been diligent about keeping my sneezing to myself and washing my hands, so I am hoping that I have not passed it along. I have been making Dex take extra C and hopefully my chua chua will not catch it either. I am praying it bypasses my lungs - one of our co-worker's daughter had to be nebulized - I sometimes get a bout of bronchitus, so I am going to take it easy this weekend and get myself well!

I Give Up - I am going to the Doctor

Well, It was a rough night, hardly any sleep and my ribs are so sore from hacking. I just got off the phone with my dear friend from work and he said one of the waitresses at the local diner he frequents has had this thing FOUR times. I just cannot keep doing this, as I feel like I am getting weaker and weaker, so I will call in the morning and off to the doc I go, even though we have to drive 1 & 1/2 Hours to get there. Antibiotics are the only thing that will knock out the bronchitis and codeine cough syrup to silence the cough at night so I can get some rest. I wish I owned stock in the Kleenex Corporation (yes, I am trying to keep my sense of humor)!

Sick again.......

I cannot believe that I am home sick with the flu. I had a bit of a scratchy throat for a couple of days, but attributed it to the fact that I was breathing the fumes from them tarring the roof of our office building. WRONG! Yesterday it hit me like running into a brick wall. The drive home took forever and when I got home, I could not stop shaking from the chills. Dex fed me applesauce and toast then I took some aspirin. Finally got some rest after midnight. There are over 99 different strains of this virus and I have now had two of them! So much for my flu shot, as it was for the wrong strain. Oh well, the good news is I feel a bit better and am working from home. I get to watch by birdies at my feeders eating their suet cakes and that makes being sick a little more bearable!
Thank you Mishka for the beautiful photo on my blog. Where was this photo taken?

Sick, Sick, Sick of it!!!!

I really tried hard NOT to get this virus - it is called a Super Bug and the title is appropriate. I did go in to see my sister as we both have it, she was worse. I am glad I was able to give her a little TLC and getting her to rest. We went to bed at about 6:30pm on a Saturday night, both exhausted from making a small shopping trip for meds. Sunday we felt a little better, she slept some and I slept off and on. We had breakfast, went to the mall to get my books that I have been waiting for, and got my dirty car washed at the robo car wash. She was exhausted from the trip and I dropped her off to rest and I went to the store for a few supplies I had forgotten the day before. Sooo... I woke up several times during the night last night, coughing my head off and will be staying home today as not to infect my co-workers. Carole and I stayed completely away from my parents and sanitized everything, so hopefully they will not get it. It is not fun, believe me and I am a not a happy person when sick, it is such a waste of time!

Weekend Sickies

Dex hurt his back on Friday, while he lifted a ladder he tried to slide a brace under it with his foot, shifting all the weight on one side of his body and thus tweeking a muscle. On top of it he developed a cold too. My weekend was spent nursing him back to health. I was feeling like a cold was coming on myself, so it was Zicam for the both of us all weekend. We did manage to get a few things done, but I now know what the term "stir crazy" means. I have been cooped up in our house for at least three weeks now, due to snow and sickness. I am determined to go into town this coming weekend and visit my parents, check on my daughter's rental and do some shopping! There is a car show at the expo and I will try to fit that in as well. I am a social being and being away from people for a long time, it is not good for me or my psyche. Hopefully the week will go by fast.....

Good news and bad news

Well, it has been a week of good news and bad news. Let's get the bad out of the way first. A musician friend of Dexter and me, committed suicide this last week. No, it wasn't because of drugs, wait, I correct myself. It was because of drugs - chemotherapy. Janna had survived breast cancer for two years, she suffered a double mastectomy and lots and lots of chemo. She was one of the cancer patients who have very strong reactions to chemo. I learned the other day that her cancer had returned and she chose not to do chemo again. I do not know if she was already in pain or not, but I do know she was not willing or perhaps the odds were not in her favor, so she chose to end her life. As a Christian, that is not an option for me, but I cannot say for sure, that I would not do the same thing if in the same shoes.

The good news is that Chicken,(my youngest daughter) has a new job as of April 23rd. I am so happy for her and she will be learning a very valuable job. Once you learn purchasing, no matter what the product, you can pretty much go where you want to go. Added benefit, she will get to see MindSprite on a daily basis. I hope Sprite will walk with you everyday at work!

The other good news is that Mishka, (my first born daughter) and J will be returning to a place overseas that they love. This means I may have a chance to go to this wonderful land again. I will have a different set of priorities this time, which I am anxious to share with her and J.
Wonderful family friends will be visiting her soon, I know they will have a wonderful time together. The good things about old friends is the old cliche, "IT's LIKE THEY NEVER LEFT." Wish I could be there too.

A Mother gone to Heaven

It was with great sadness that I learned my best friend and ex-sister-in-law's mother passed away a few days ago. I wasn't home all weekend - went to visit my mother and stepdad and took in a movie on Sunday. When I got home, there was a tearful message on my machine. Our two lives have paralleled in so many instances. We are exactly 6 months to the day apart. Mishka and Sean her cousin were born within weeks of each other and Chicken and Lynn's next child, Charity grew up hooked at the hip. Our fathers died at young ages and she and I are psychic with each other too. We feel when something is wrong or a shadow passes over either of our families. Her mother intimidated me when I was a young girl and I was mad at her in my teens when she sent Lynn away and called my mother and told her I was a bad influence on Lynn (it was her way of justifying sending her away), but true friends can never really be separated and Lynn forgave her mother and I did too. I grew to love Lois and her sisters and Mother. They were second family to me. Lois not only gave me the gift of Lynn in my life, but she also led me to the Lord and that is the greatest gift she could have given me. She joins her wonderful mother "Mama Ritchie" who died three weeks ago. She joins a husband, mother, sisters, grandchildren born and unborn - Jesus says "You shall be known in Heaven as you are on Earth" and I know she is rejoicing with HIM and family right now. I will miss you Lois Mom!

Keep your germs to yourself

I am trying not to become Howard Hughish - but darnit, why can't sick people stay home! Intestinal flu was going around the network which is 30 miles away from the executive offices where I work. You would think I would be safe from "their" germs, but I forgot about the inter-office envelopes that are shuttled back and forth between locations daily. I get one everyday from production and of course production is where the "crud" originated. Needless to say, I have been home for two days, not exercised, unless I can log the trips to the loo - only good thing is I have seen some great movies, got to talk to Mishka and got to watch Dr. Phil and Oprah (not afraid to admit it) so it has not been a total loss. I will have two hours of spam to wade through when I get back though. On second thought "keep your germs and spam to yourself" if you don't mind.

Foureyes and then some

I was so excited to find out they added vision coverage on our health insurance. Because I was going into "Big Town" this weekend I schedule and eye exam. I was way, way overdue. I managed to get it moved up a day and went through the usual procedure including the eye dilation, which is always fun for awhile. To my dismay, I have some issues with my eyes. Too much pressure in the eyes, which could mean glaucoma. He also found some differences in the optic nerves of my eyes. That is really scary. I have been anxiety ridden since he told me and he wants me to see a specialist. I guess I am a Kook as I am looking at everything in every detail, trying to etch it all in my brain, just in case the news is really bad. I would rather lose my hearing any day, then not be able to see the faces of those I love or the trees and ocean or not be able to read a book as I am a voracious reader. We think sometimes to be able to function is our right and it really is a priviledge. Those of you who pray, I would appreciate a word to HIM. The good news is I am going to have a really cool pair of glasses soon... I will keep you posted on the outcome.

WeightWatcherdom or Doom

I weighed in. Took all my measurements and had a Smart One for breakfast. I have officially started my weight loss program. My goal is to replace every article of clothing I own! New undies, bra's and of course clothes! clothes! clothes! I am going to turn into a semi-foo foo girl too! Maybe have a manicure once in awhile. Perhaps a facial and a wax job, who knows, the world is my oyster - OOPS, I don't think I can eat those anymore....