Tuesday, January 25, 2011

It has been a long time

I have not written for a long time and much has happened since then. There has been much learning going on and I hope I am sending up Sparks of Holiness as that is one of the things I have been learning. My husband is fighting cancer, my dad is fighting dementia and just plain old, old age - he is 99. I am dealing with knowing the end on this earth will be coming for me someday. Growing old gracefully is a fantasy that sounded good to someone and they put it out there. Nothing graceful about it. You have many aches and pains, burdens to bear - they were just a lot easier to do when you were younger - yet the trade off is the stuff you thought was so damned important is not really - and you really stop sweating the small stuff. I feel an urgency to get my act cleaned up, living simply, giving away stuff, giving away some important stuff to the kids now and getting wills and what finances we have in order. There is much comfort in that and then you feel like you can coast a bit, and smell a bit more of the roses. I am working on that, I do not want my kids to have to deal with it. I am trying to be healthy, I am a happy and I truly appreciate every moment here and more importantly, I am not afraid of my next adventure in my coming life - I have Faith and Trust In God.